Excuse Me & You Are?

I am SOOOOOOO sick of this CRAP! So, Today I'm chilling && I get a IM from a F R I E N D (REMINDER: He is JUST a friend.)

It went like this:
Him: >=/
Me: uh, Hey && What did I do Now?
Him: You know what you did.
Me: Actually, I don't but you can tell me.
Him: Mannn, Whatever.
Me: Okay... I don't know what your problem is but GET OFF IT!
Him: You ack like I'm not around when you do that shxt.
Me: What did I do? uhhh, I know you ain't talkin bout me & D.C.
Him: >=/ YEA! You know what you did.
Me: uhhh, YOU not my man so, why are you even gettin mad.
Him: I know I'm not, but you know what's up!
Me: Uhhhhh, you're my friend.. soo... wth are you talkin about?
Him: Oh, so you playing dumb?
Me: No, I'm not.. you're tryina control me && It aint finna GO DOWN like that.
I'm SINGLE so therefore I do as I please. OKAY!
Him: Ohhh KAY, Aight ... BET!!!!
Me: uhm... Yeaaa.. ANYTHING ELSE
Him: Nope!
Me: You fulla Shxt Chris! *Logs Off*


I don't know what was REALLY going on.. but HE aint my man.. && Neither am I his woman.. but he seemed IRRITATED that I was CONVERSING with another man... but HE wasn't around (While I was CONVERSING.. A HOMEBOY ran && Told. *smh*). I'll tell ya.. MEN/LADIES both are some trips.. You can't MAKE something OUT of NOTHING unless you're a MAGICIAN! && He aint THAT! Had Me like "EXCUSE ME && YOU ARE?" .. I am SOLO DOLO. Nikkas needa get that ACK right in their lives.

-- Speak Up Or Be Forgotten ~ ONJ

Let The Song Speakkkkk ....

Well, I don't care but I actually love my mother more than any other human being on the face of this earth. She comes second. God first.

Today, when I got out of the shower... I was getting dressed and... I happen to stop.... and listen to uhm, Tupac's -"Dear Mama".

He took the words straight out of my mouth. you know the words to explain how I feel about my mama... I actually had a moment there... you know reminiscing on the good and the bad.

I specifically remember the line....

"Ain't a woman alive that could take my mama's place"
&& as long as I walk this earth NO other woman can/could every love me like my mother.

"When things went wrong we'd blame mama"
I always did that coming up, It was never my fault or.. anyone else' fault. you know back then I didn't understand that she did the things she did... she even told us these things because she loves us && wants us to be prepared.

"You always was committed"
Even though the times got tough.. you never gave up.. && you're not right now. I love you for that... You showed me allot && forever I am grateful to have a mother like you.

"Place no one above ya"
Nothing.. will ever ... NO ONE will ever have that bond that we have... I'm actually glad that you're my best friend.. counselor .. mom.. ya know.


"Cause when I was low you was there for me And never left me alone because you cared for me
cause through the drama I can always depend on my mama And when it seems that I'm hopeless You say the words that can get me back in focus"
Through Everything, Obstacle, or issue that I've had.. you've been there to guide me
and show me the light... you know. I don't know what I'd do sometimes If I didn't have you.

"To keep me happy there's no limit to the things you did"
Ahhh, I know a couple of times that you've sacrificed things to keep me happy,
and get me where I am today.
&& I KNOW that ... you think I'm ungrateful ..
but I do appreciate it.

"And even though I act craaazy I gotta thank the Lord that you made me"
At times, I have my EMO thoughts.. but at the end of the day, I'm actually happy that I'm here to enjoy the things that are in my life... YOU!

"There are no words that can express how I feel You never kept a secret, always stayed real And I appreciate, how you raised me And all the extra love that you gave me"
THAT ^^ is self explanatory.. YOU have always kept it real. NEVER sugarcoated anything. ALTHOUGH we thought that you were being a very mean mother but SOCIETY isn't that lenient sooo, you know. :)

"There's no way I can pay you back But the plan is to show you that I understand You are appreciated"
Nothing... NOTHING can/will ever be enough to show you that I care... or appreciate anything you've done.. but KNOW that I love you with all of my heart && Nothing will EVER change the way I feel.. even when you make me mad.. Its only because I don't yet understand... but slowly... I'm gettin the hang of it.

I love YOUUUUUU MA! <333>(I know what you're going to say but WHATEVER, I appreciate you... )

-- Speak Up OR BE FORGOTTEN ~ ONJ

Dear Father: Happy Fathers Day.

Dear Father,

Happy Father's Day! I love you in every special way.
Not just today, but everyday. I'm the young lady you see before you because you were a father to me. Each day, As I grow older, so do you. Another page is turned another Chapter has ended, only for another to begin. Even though, we've been through the storm && back. I don't think I'd be as far in life without you. I mean the whole "Daddy, my arm hurts" or the "Daddy, I need this". Either way it went I always got what I wanted.. sometimes later than expected.

Growing up, you weren't really around, between work and my going to school weekends were all we had. I needed you more then, than I do now that I'm grown. I'm used to it... you know *shrugs* the whole "Where's Dad?"... "He's gone" ... "Go Figure" *smh*. Now... you're around. Its awkward. I hate when you're IN the house with me. I'd rather you be HERE, but outside somewhere. *smh*

Its JUST that way, I remember *smiles* the good times,

1) sitting outside playing dominoes, listening to music, drinking soda, while you BBQ && school us on how to MAKE the PERFECT ribs.

2) when we went to the park and sat on the back of your truck eating Ames Chicken with a 12 pack of Red Cream Rocky Top soda in a cooler of ice.

3) We went to Fort Worth with you && we got lost, Jr got sick ... fun road trip. Really fun road trip. *sigh*

4) The time when I was like 6-7, I wanted this barbie doll that you opened her skates && you roll her across paper & she made marks. *sigh* you searched ALL over town for it. *smh* didn't succeed.

5) How about the time you were supposed to take me to school && My rubber band broke. you tried your best but ended up using a bread wrapper & covered it up w. a Barrett.

6) Or that time, I was like a "Lil" thang, back in 95-96, I had woke up with a niqhtmare. You went in the kitchen && got me and you an ice cream sandwich, den you let me get in ya lap, posted up in the recliner and we watched TV til I fell asleep. *sigh* Hallmark moment.

I mean you aren't really the world's greatest dad in my eyes as of today, but it was more of the LITTLE things that you did that makes me proud to call you my dad.

I love you so much && No man can EVER take your place.

Love, Olivia N. Jones


-- Speak Up Or Be Forgotten ~ ONJ

Right Now.

Right now..

I'm not sure who I am..
Can you tell me who I am?
I feel like a lost person.. in the dark, reaching for the light which appears to be
only in grasp. I feel empty. I feel bare inside. I feel like no one understands me.

I shake my head now. because this is just one of those days. Where I feel as though
the world has turned its back on me. One of those days where the blade is cutting at
my wrist over & over again... only to show no tearing of the skin.. nor a spot of blood.

*chuckles* People might say, Oh you're crazy, but you have no idea what goes on in my head
or.. do you? I can tell you, or ... I could lie && say that I'm fine, No worries.

But deep inside, I'm much more than you anticipate. Sometimes, I think I am the spawn of Satan.
I have very very hateful thoughts. I can't stop them. they are just there. Although, on the other shoulder sits
the ANGELIC version of I. The part of me that cares, the part of me that has a heart.

Some days, I don't know which one comes alive. Other days I can pick & choose.

I'm not crazy, Its just YOU don't understand me.
... && the real questions is WILL YOU EVER understand me?


--Speak up or be forgotten ~ ONJ

The HTML Beast ..

Uhmm, I feel in love at the TENDER age of 13 with Graphic Design. uhm, and Myspace. was like HEAVEN for me && my Creative streak ya know.. so uhmm. the following I guess are a couple of layouts that I did for my myspace && Some ARE NOT mines.. but I tweaked them abit. STILL not mines. but yeaa. I have favs in the mix too. =)

Lights, Camera, Action!

Update 6-11-09

hmm. well this is an update . =)


Hmm. what's going on in my world. Uhh, Everything is pretty fair. Lately, I've had a good perception of my life. You know everything happens for a reason.


"There are no mistakes" -- Kung Fu Panda (I actually watched this w. my mom yesterday in her room... DNT HATE!)


There are only Life lessons. God is GREAT! I love him with all my heart. *sigh* I decided that my life should be the best, and I'm making it that way . POSITIVITY! SMILES! Cheeriness. =)

Uhm. Health wise, I'm pretty good. I've actually been eating HEALTHIER. I'm too young to die ... I suppose. "You're never really too old or young to die." -- Unknown.

uhm... Other news... ahh . I wanna give a SHOUTOUT to Marrell HAMILTON. uhm.. sometimes.. <-- LITERALLY sometimes.. I have my RUDE days.. but through it all he has been my BEST BUD! && Kick my ass.. && Put me back in my place. Whenever I needed to talk he was there. && Forever I'm grateful. =) "I love you, Man!" *Thumbs Up* .

Wheeww . I'm not really doing anything as of now . I'm just CHILLING. =) ahhh. I felt that I needed to BLOG its been about 2 weeks almost uhhmm . I dont know. Myspace Blog wasn't cuttin it for me . But yeaa. I'll be updating frequently.. && If I can. I'll PUT in some VIDEO blogs so you can HEAR me. ;D!

-- . Speak UP or Be FORGOTTEN ~ ONJ