I'm tired

It's like I'm moving in a circle... a square .. fuck a line. Everyday.. same shit .. different day.
Climbing the highest mountain.. only to slip and fall.


Nobody's life is perfect. MINES, is far from it .
I'm so dependent right now... barely independent.
but, I'm tired of .. wondering about the people in my life.
I dont have any support behind my going to college .. but the fact that I'm not tryina work a minimum wage job the rest of my fuckin life. I wanna do be.

but, every now & then.. I get tired of fuckin being here.. putting up with this shit .
Day in & Day out . && it aint even ME that's doing it .. its other ppl. I'm just.. the substitute punching bag.

I cant assist the situation because.. when I do.. nothing happens.. its like.. I'm stuck .

I know that everyday is different.. and to take it one step at a time, but right now..

I'm bout to dive off a cliff. its irritating.. nobody knows.. what i think, feel, hear or see.... but me.
and it aint always what i want.. or what i need. i think that's part of my problem..

I get so tired.... I'm tired.. for more than 10 years .. a DAMN decade.. its been HERE .. in my mind.

I dont even think I'm all here..

but ppl have seen worse.. but that stuff .. is what MOLDS me..
what makes me who I am..
but its slowly.. tiring me.
tearing me..
making me.. not even wanna wake up each morning..
its ... just ..
I'm T I R E D .
I wanna escape... be free...